I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
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So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
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my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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