Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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