I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
