I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
