What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
operation harelip BJ is a go
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
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