You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
