He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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