was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize
