fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
The police scanner is talking about you again....
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Randomize