I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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