i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
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