i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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