her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
