I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Randomize
