I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
