Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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