apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
