My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
