The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
You pole danced in your parka.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
