So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
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