My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
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