Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize