yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
