is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize