No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
