you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
It's blow job season.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
