Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
