Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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