You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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