So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
