I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
