Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
barbara walters just said penis...
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
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