I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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