Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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