Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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