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• (850): View more from Florida

  Please dont jizz on my ds screen.

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• (601): View more from Mississippi

  K. On the way. I need a drink.

  (904): View more from Florida

  Like a drink drink or like water?

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Have we met?

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• (270): View more from Kentucky

  he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.

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• (415): View more from California

  so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.

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• (219): View more from Indiana

  How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.

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• (936): View more from Texas

  My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.

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• (281): View more from Texas

  You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"

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• 

  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (253): View more from Washington

  Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.

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• (510): View more from California

  Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me

  (206): View more from Washington

  That is an interesting fear as well as image

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.

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• (606): View more from Kentucky

  Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..

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