Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.