she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.