Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..