The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
