Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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