Texts From Last Night

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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?

  (1-734): View more from Michigan

  How did the beer even get there in the first place?

  (734): View more from Michigan

  That's not what's important right now

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  (734): Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina? (1-734): How did the beer even get there in the first place? (734): That's not what's important right now http://tfl.nu/17l2
  Replies (30) Good night (2980) Bad night (3847)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.

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  (847): yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her. http://tfl.nu/lht2
  Replies (14) Good night (3933) Bad night (1087)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?

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  (419): You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text? http://tfl.nu/28br
  Replies (8) Good night (4145) Bad night (1071)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.

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  (603): I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad. http://tfl.nu/5dfv
  Replies (12) Good night (1219) Bad night (3925)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.

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  (770): Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes. http://tfl.nu/g4xy
  Replies (24) Good night (2806) Bad night (714)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  I can feel my moral fiber fraying.

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  (469): I can feel my moral fiber fraying. http://tfl.nu/8494
  Replies (2) Good night (1236) Bad night (478)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco

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  (920): I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco http://tfl.nu/0jwt
  Replies (5) Good night (725) Bad night (618)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.

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  (812): Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome. http://tfl.nu/9uj2
  Replies (9) Good night (1462) Bad night (493)
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  (646): View more from New York

  The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help

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  (646): The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help http://tfl.nu/rosq
  Replies (6) Good night (396) Bad night (963)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.

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  (617): Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present. http://tfl.nu/s10t
  Replies (4) Good night (1521) Bad night (414)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me

  (937): View more from Ohio

  And I also said, "probe me"

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  (937): I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me (937): And I also said, "probe me" http://tfl.nu/a3ve
  Replies (8) Good night (790) Bad night (452)
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  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?

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  (580): Why is there a muffler in the livingroom? (405): First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance? http://tfl.nu/9zfd
  Replies (3) Good night (465) Bad night (958)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk

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  (503): Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk http://tfl.nu/l7fc
  Replies (9) Good night (605) Bad night (210)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.

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  (330): Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes. http://tfl.nu/oodj
  Replies (3) Good night (467) Bad night (175)
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  (209): View more from California

  Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.

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  (209): Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment. http://tfl.nu/nr87
  Replies (2) Good night (465) Bad night (194)

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