i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Randomize
