Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.