Texts From Last Night

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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.

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  (815): I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed. http://tfl.nu/ikx6
  Replies (21) Good night (6044) Bad night (1418)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  No that means he must've used the nipple clamps

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  (479): No that means he must've used the nipple clamps http://tfl.nu/kmo2
  Replies (4) Good night (2131) Bad night (1268)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....

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  (706): Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in.... http://tfl.nu/ewud
  Replies (8) Good night (923) Bad night (1949)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.

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  (616): Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine. http://tfl.nu/pixd
  Replies (6) Good night (1249) Bad night (2367)
• Favorite

  (254): View more from Texas

  Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.

  (254): View more from Texas

  Tornado warnings are fun!

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  (254): Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows. (254): Tornado warnings are fun! http://tfl.nu/9sqb
  Replies (13) Good night (3410) Bad night (1183)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.

  (1-301): View more from Maryland

  I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.

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  (301): His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy. (1-301): I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok. http://tfl.nu/z40b
  Replies (16) Good night (3056) Bad night (720)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.

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  (832): Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away. http://tfl.nu/sac9
  Replies (1) Good night (1040) Bad night (638)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.

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  (240): Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood. http://tfl.nu/tqto
  Replies (3) Good night (1140) Bad night (563)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.

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  (612): If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home. http://tfl.nu/rwle
  Replies (3) Good night (892) Bad night (407)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.

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  (708): I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures. http://tfl.nu/74dn
  Replies (3) Good night (1203) Bad night (1017)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.

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  (931): Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass. http://tfl.nu/ezy8
  Replies (10) Good night (1573) Bad night (606)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?

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  (740): I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that? http://tfl.nu/cfbo
  Replies (4) Good night (321) Bad night (658)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.

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  (913): She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor. http://tfl.nu/4jux
  Replies (2) Good night (693) Bad night (303)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions

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  (443): Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions http://tfl.nu/xzqy
  Replies (0) Good night (426) Bad night (306)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.

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  (319): I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there. http://tfl.nu/ome2
  Replies (7) Good night (1162) Bad night (302)

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