I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
