But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
