Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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