what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
