This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
