My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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