well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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