Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
