physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize