just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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