Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
