hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Floor bacon is actually really good
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Drunk is not a location!
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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