I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Randomize
