i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
