in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
