I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
