And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
This is classic penis vs brain.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
