My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
