Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize