Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
